Who am I?
I suppose this should be kept short and sweet, as the entire blog is meant to explore both who I am and who all of you are.
I consider myself as a mess. Ever since I was a child, creativity has been my life, and I've become quite the workaholic with it all. Daily, I am writing music, lyrics and poems, creating art in multiple mediums, working on game design- essentially anything that explores my thoughts and emotions. I am not one for escapism or fantasy, rather I have a passion for realism, self-awareness, and empathy/perspective of others.
Why am I Doing This?
I always said with my writing that if it helped just one person, I would be content. While that is important to me, it wasn't enough. I have a variety of "mental illness" challenges that I work through, but I've discovered that Disassociation seems to be the foundation of it all. I've worked hard to tackle this as if it was in fact an "illness", but I believe my struggle to connect and feel as if I am a part of everything isn't "in my head", rather a cultural problem.
I do not pretend well, and I tend to lack a filter. Staying genuine and honest is everything to me, but that seems to push me away from society. I'm loving, and I get along with most everyone, but there is an inherent lack of connection. Plenty of the time, it is as simple as we do not share much chemistry, but often, I believe it is because people are wearing masks. Perhaps they're afraid to open up. Perhaps pretending is a coping mechanism. Perhaps there idea of what people are suppose to be has conditioned them to not even realize they're faking who they are to blend in and be normal. I have an understanding of all of this, but it is not in me to hold my true self back, flaws and all, and I know I'm not alone in this. I also believe a lot of people may feel alone though. It is hard not to at times. That is why I am doing this. We are not alone and I know this to be true, and while my endeavors here may be for naught, if at least one person can let themselves out because they see we are here, then isn't this all worth the efforts?
I'm thinking out loud writing all of this. I hate writing an "about me" and so it tends to just turn into word vomit. This site is more about "us" than it is "me", so I encourage you to join in a conversation over at the Blog or on any of our social medias. If you care to know more about me, that is where I'm opening up and listening to others as well!